Monday, March 15, 2021

This Just In 2000 Years Ago: Catholic Church cannot bless gay unions

In a stunning move unforeseen by everyone, the Vatican just issued a decree 2000 years ago stating that the Church cannot bless gay unions.

In the shocking move, Pope Francis reiterated what has been a constant teaching since the founding of the Catholic Church at Pentecost around 33AD.

Labeled as "Breaking News" by many outlets such as Associated Press and others, the Catholic Church will surprisingly not start doing something it has never done since its founding.

Many progressives were left wondering: what next? Will the Church declare there are only 7 sacraments or that Jesus Christ is the second person of the Trinity?

What prompted this to become "breaking" "headline news" now? Has anyone doubted this to be the case? It seems a little absurd to say the least, but apparently this question of blessing gay unions had to be addressed since there were apparently even churches doing such a thing. Despite being churches and/or priests, they were unaware of a point of doctrine that has always been the case and has never changed.

Some may draw a distinction between blessing a union and declaring it the equivalent of marriage, or something like that. However, nothing evil can be blessed. To the shock and dismay of many, the Church also cannot bless polygamous unions! Will this be the newest headline in the near future?

The Church makes clear that people with homosexual attraction are not in themselves evil, however homosexual activities are immoral and contrary to natural law, therefore the Church declares they are sinful, and always have been.


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