This might sound like an obvious point to many, but in our modern society, this must be re-emphasized: Men have a major role to play in the family. Although I am married, I unfortunately do not yet have any children. I look around and see the lack of a role many men have in their children's lives or in the family in general. This must end immediately.
According to Catholic teaching, men are the heads of the household. They have the authority but also the responsibility to provide for all the needs of the family. This is different from the modern-day view of husband and wife having the same roles or the wife being the head of the family. Both of these positions are incorrect.
I'm not saying this as some kind of chauvinist. Rather, it is the proper ordering of things. God is the head of the Universe, Jesus Christ is our King, we have spiritual authorities such as priests, bishops, and the pope, and within the family God has chosen the man to be the head of the household. Women are above children in authority and they should listen to her.
So what does it mean for a man to have authority over a household? It means he is willing to sacrifice and even die for the sake of his family. It's not a power trip where he is treated like royalty. No, he has the authority and the responsibility to care for his family. In practical terms this means he looks after the overall good of the family, he provides for them, he ensures they have spiritual formation.
The problem nowadays is that many men take a backseat. They act like one of the children of the house. This isn't the role of a man. He is exhibiting sloth and a unwillingness to take his responsibilities seriously. Fr. Ripperger says that even household chores are the duty of men. The role of wives is to support their husbands. She is a helper to him. This is not an employer employee relationship, but it's about proper ordering. Therefore, a wife can help with the household chores but the ultimate responsibility is with the man. If possible, a woman should not work outside the home. This is not a hard and fast rule, but an ideal.
Men are asked to follow the example of Jesus. Jesus has ultimate authority, and he spoke with authority. Is anyone going to say his life on Earth was easy? Of course not. He was eventually crucified. But he established a Church and never waivered in his love for his people. He sacrificed everything. Men must have the same attitude.
Even though Jesus is the head, he assembled 12 men to assist him in carrying out his mission. Eventually the numbers grew and the Gospel was spread. The Apostles worked together in carrying out the mission of Christ. In a similar way, wives work with their husbands to carry out the good of the family. This of course is predicated on men being virtuous, holy, and self-giving.
So what do I mean when I say men have taken a back seat? One example is that women seem to be completely in charge of the upbringing of their children. Men are hardly aware of what is even going on. We can see the devastating consequences of this. Women are doing what they can, but men really need to step up.
We know that children who have no father are much more prone to drug abuse, poor relationships, being unemployed, and basically being affected by any number of other social ills. To a possibly lesser degree, the same goes for families where men stay on the sidelines. It's no surprise that as men take a lesser and lesser role in the raising of their children, many evils are increasing all the time.
One example of this is a huge increase in so-called gender confusion. Kids are starting to question whether they are even boys or girls. Boys think they're girls and vice versa. Some have even gotten creative and declared they are non-binary, and whatever other term they have coined. By and large, women are not providing any moral or ethical guidance in this area whatsoever. That's not really their fault, they aren't designed for that purpose. Women are designed to be unconditionally loving, and non-judgmental towards their children and others. The role of the man in the household is to set the moral example and provide strong guidance.
It's not a surprise that most of the kids who question their gender come from divorced or single-mother households. Matt Walsh recently spoke about this as he reviewed a documentary from Netflix which was actually in favour of transgender kids. He said a common theme which came up time and time again was that the father was not in the picture or the family had divorced.
I hear stories of kids who are very young who are "transitioning" or have declared they are another gender. I have rarely, if ever, seen a mother or woman in general say there was anything wrong with this. They mostly seem to just remain neutral and treat it like a matter of fact. Because they do not possess a certain moral authority over their family, they are unable to provide help and guidance to such children and instead revert to overt acceptance of it out of a distorted idea of love. Men are meant to make tough choices. The father must be there to provide solid moral teaching regardless of any backlash that he may receive. If he is treated with the respect he deserves, the children will be more likely to obey his authority. The man knows that although his child may be upset with him in the moment, he is ultimately helping them out for the future. A mother is nurturing and supportive but a father must sometimes provide strong guidance even if it means seeming unloving.
There has been a lot of talk about toxic masculinity. Those who define this term are completely wrong about everything. However, we must define what real toxic masculinity is. Toxic masculinity in a nut-shell is not being a man. Ironically those who use the term usually mean the opposite. When they use the term "toxic", they mean men NOT being men is good, but men being men is toxic! Anyway, not being a man is toxic. Being lazy is toxic, being weak is toxic, not standing for what is morally good is toxic, not providing for one's family is toxic.
I must also note however that many modern-day associations with masculinity are in fact toxic. For example, there is nothing wrong with sports, especially playing sports for health. But some men have turned sports into an all-out obsession. They live for sports. That's toxic. Sports can be a pastime or hobby, but they can't be a major issue in your life as a man. Getting drunk all the time is toxic masculinity. Violating the 6th commandment and being unchaste is also toxic. This is an area I can agree on with the modern-day "toxic" crowd.
So as you can see, a traditional man is one who is loving, willing to sacrifice, religious and spiritual and exerts wise authority over his family. Men need to step up and be like this, including myself.
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