Hey guys, just wanted to write a very personal entry today about how I'm feeling. As I've mentioned before, I sometimes feel angry. I think this stems from frustration which comes from various sources. I think I get frustrated from my workplace and just feeling like I can't make a good go at things. I would say that overall my enjoyment for my job is at about 20%. Sometimes it's okay, but sometimes it seems very boring and also annoying.
I work in customer service. I don't need to get into the exact details, but basically I deal with people in a serious area. They depend on the service we proide. I spend much of my time telling these people they do not qualify or they have not filled out the proper application or that the thing they need immediately will take a couple of weeks to receive by mail. I deal with a lot of upset and angry people.
On top of that, most of the calls I take are in French. Although I studied French in school from kindergarten to graduation, I had not spoken it for many years before I took this job. It was about 15 years since I had really spoken any French in school when I took this job. But I still indicated on the application that I was bilingual in French. I don't mind speaking to people in another language especially since I've been doing this job for almost 2 years now. But after a long day it becomes more and more difficult to speak in a foreign language in a continuous basis. On top of that, management is continually training me in new material. I do not have a deep interest in the material that they teach us and the subjects can be very tedious and boring. Then I am obliged to be an expert on these topics in French. In many cases I've never even heard most of the words that I am being asked to explain.
On top of my job I am also struggling very hard to have my own business which I find very difficult and I have not yet attained very much success in at all. In fact, very little.
Furthermore, I sometimes feel like there's no time in the day to work on the things I want to and then I'm always overwhelmed with so many things to do. I feel stressed out, overwhelmed and like I sometimes cannot cope. And that's the point of my diary entry today is to say that I'm feeling very frustrated and I would like for you to pray for me on this subject.
Sometimes I feel like things can be helpless because I feel like ultimately we do not have a lot of control over things that are happening to us. I sometimes wonder about the nature of God and how we do not have a lot of power and don't get a say on what happens to us or the world. I see a lot of people suffering in various ways and it's difficult to cope with it.
Anyway, I'm just being very real about some of the struggles that are happening and I wanted to throw it out there. Please feel free to write your own experiences in the comments section below and I look forward to hearing what people have to say. In the meantime, I'm going to say my daily Rosary now. So have a great day and God bless.
